From the Editor:

Some people think that our Prime Minister John Howard is a cat..

because he always looks like he has just licked the cream from his wiskers.

A cat after all being a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes us human beings - Not a bad description of John Howard.

Then other people think he is more like a dog..

For a number of years a well known polling group based in Sydney has asked its focus groups "If you had to describe politicians as a breed of dog, what breed would that be? For John Howard they almost always get told a dog that is small, agile and aggressive. The most common response is either a Fox Terrier or a Jack Russell "both yappy dogs that don't let go" followed by Australian cattle dog" - probably because hes so great at working the sheep

Q: How can you tell when John Howard is telling a lie?
A: His lips move.

Q: What's the name of George W. Bush's new dog?
A: John Howard.

The Tale of Little Johnny Howard and the Queen...

John Howard was in England meeting the Queen at Balmoral. They were discussing Australia and Howard's plans for the future. Howard asks the Queen if it would be possible to turn Australia into a Kingdom to increase its force in the world market. The Queen replies "One needs a king for a kingdom - and you are most certainly not a king."

He then asks if it would be possible to turn Australia into an Empire. The Queen replies "For an empire you need an emperor - you are most certainly not an emperor."

Howard thinks for a moment, and after recovering from the stress he asks if it would be possible to turn Australia into a Principality. The Queen replies "For a principality you need a prince and you, Mr. Howard, are certainly not a prince."

The Queen adds further "Without wishing to appear rude, Mr. Howard...I think Australia should remain as a Country."

Got some good one's about Howard and Co. Please send submissions to Cossamap Editor: John Watt Email

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This page was last updated Wed Nov 23 04:47:18 2005 Pacific time