I'm collecting and Poems and ditties about John Howard and his cohorts.

IDLY WAITING: The Poem based on Catullus LVII

Petros, Costello nostra, Costello illa.
illa Costello, quam Howard unam
plus quam se atque suos amavit omnes,
nunc in quadriviis et angiportis
glubit magnanimi Remus nepotes.

In English, that's:

Peter, our Costello, that Costello,
that same Costelo, whom Howard loved
more than himself and more than all his own,
now loiters at the cross-roads and in the backstreets
idly waiting


Margo Kingston

Not happy, John, with the way:
you snuck us into the Iraq war without ever really telling us why
you trample on our democratic right to know
you'd like to give the Media Moguls control of ALL our news
a Big Donation lets Big Business share a barbecue with you and George W
you let President Bush ambush OUR Parliament - and then let President Hu roll us all over again, the next day
you use 'globalisation' to avoid accountability
you treat us as passive consumers - not as CITIZENS and people of goodwill


David Peetz

A young John Howard was downtown
An old friend, walked up, shook his hands
"Congratulations", his mate said
"Your family's about to expand!"

John Howard looked puzzledly at him
"I don't have a clue what you say"
"But your wife -- she's now eight months pregnant!
I"ve heard the babe's due any day!"

"Well no one's officially told me
But thank you for letting me know.
Believe me, I had no such knowledge,
Maybe that explains why she's grown"

They met again, several weeks later
"Well done!" his hearty friend said
Again, young John Howard was puzzled

He looked up, he paused, scratched his head
"And what have I done now?" he asked him
His friend, though astonished, replied
"You're a father your wife's had a baby!"

His amazement he just could not hide
"Well no one's officially told me
But thank you, that makes me quite happy
Believe me, I had no such knowledge,
Maybe that explains all those nappies"

The years passed, they met just one more time
A street corner, a clear summer's day,
John Howard drove right through a stop sign
Their cars met, in quite a mele

His old friend climbed out and went over
"What happened, why didn't you stop?
Why did you fly right past that sign there?"

But John thought this over the top
"Well no one officially told me.
Excuse me, you must understand
Believe me, I had no such knowledge,
Maybe that's why blood's on my hands."


A small pic of Howard with "It's MY Party and I'll lie if I want to!"

New, Improved, Pacific Solution: throw Howard overboard"

A picture of a black rat with wording: "Honest John"
"Position Vacant: Prime Minister of Australia - lying rodents need not apply".

Please send any poems or ditties about the rodent or members of his gang to and if it catches the webmasters fancy we will publish with attribution.

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This page was last updated Tue Sep 28 23:41:41 2004 Pacific time